New Beginnings
So I recently completed my first semester of medical school. It feels weird to say that I'm one-eighth a doctor because my learning so far hasn't been linear; I feel like my growth right now follows an exponential curve more than anything else. And if that holds true for the rest of medical school, then I'm still barely laying a foundation for that's yet to come. I've started to pick up the language of medicine and frameworks for clinical reasoning, but the more I learn, the more I know I don't know.
I've made more friends than I ever hoped to and found more mentors than I expected. I feel like I've become both more humble and more confident; I used to think that the two were diametrically opposed on the same spectrum but now I realize that they're two entirely different measures. Confidence and humility aren't mutually exclusive. I'm much more aware of the skills, perspective, talents, and passion of my colleagues which helps keep me grounded. But I've also become more attuned to my own abilities, wisdom, values, and resilience. I have been tried, but I look back on these months knowing that I approached all of my challenges with grace, positivity, and heart. I know that I bring something important to the table too and that I have to be willing to act now, while the stakes are still low. All of this has helped me become more confident.
This summer, I saw one quote (that I can't remember now oops) about how there's beauty in the uncertainty that each new beginning brings; I wasn't always confident about that on my first night sleeping on the floor of my apartment before my furniture came in or those days before school started when my mom had gone back to Georgia or when I was inundated with endless paperwork that felt urgent but unforgiving or when my computer gave up on me the third week of school (thank goodness UCSF IT made me back it up before encryption!) or when a misunderstanding with new peers made me feel very alone at a happy hour during orientation week... But through it all, I was excited and optimistic about the adventures ahead. "Every day might not be good, but there's good in every day" rings true now more than ever. There have been so many vivid moments of human connection, personal growth, unexpected joy, and sweeping San Francisco views. I am truly loving every moment of the medical school- even the tough ones. There's no better place I could be, and I'm grateful every day.
Here are a few memories from my first semester that stand out:
I've made more friends than I ever hoped to and found more mentors than I expected. I feel like I've become both more humble and more confident; I used to think that the two were diametrically opposed on the same spectrum but now I realize that they're two entirely different measures. Confidence and humility aren't mutually exclusive. I'm much more aware of the skills, perspective, talents, and passion of my colleagues which helps keep me grounded. But I've also become more attuned to my own abilities, wisdom, values, and resilience. I have been tried, but I look back on these months knowing that I approached all of my challenges with grace, positivity, and heart. I know that I bring something important to the table too and that I have to be willing to act now, while the stakes are still low. All of this has helped me become more confident.
This summer, I saw one quote (that I can't remember now oops) about how there's beauty in the uncertainty that each new beginning brings; I wasn't always confident about that on my first night sleeping on the floor of my apartment before my furniture came in or those days before school started when my mom had gone back to Georgia or when I was inundated with endless paperwork that felt urgent but unforgiving or when my computer gave up on me the third week of school (thank goodness UCSF IT made me back it up before encryption!) or when a misunderstanding with new peers made me feel very alone at a happy hour during orientation week... But through it all, I was excited and optimistic about the adventures ahead. "Every day might not be good, but there's good in every day" rings true now more than ever. There have been so many vivid moments of human connection, personal growth, unexpected joy, and sweeping San Francisco views. I am truly loving every moment of the medical school- even the tough ones. There's no better place I could be, and I'm grateful every day.
Here are a few memories from my first semester that stand out:
Seeing the sunset over the beach on my first backpacking trip
Our white coat ceremony, the first Friday of medical school
Taking a dance class from Beyonce choreographer James Alsop
Learning how to make buttercream frosting
Picking up embroidery
Going to ocean beach after our first exam during the labor day heat wave
Nomming at the Ghirardelli chocolate festival
Hosting our first brunch and making a waffle bar
Getting my California license
Meeting up with Georgia gals when our flight attendant gal Avery was in town
Going to my first EAST BAY garba
My first SF rooftop house party
Picking up running (and ran to the pacific ocean on my first run)!
Going to a Rupi Kaur poetry reading
Watching the dawgs make 3 touchdowns in the first seven minutes at an alumni tailgate
Ridiculous med-themed halloween costumes (we went as premature ventricular contractions because 3 of them together make v-tach which is spooky)
Showing a friend from back home, Keshal, around my new city!
Taking the evening ferry to Alcatraz at sunset and exploring the island by night
Finally going out in SF for the first time
Attending UCSF's 17th annual Interpersonal Violence conference
Going to a direct action training led by members of the Oakland-based Ruckus Society
Coordinating with ZSFG's pediatrics department for a demonstration in defense of DACA
Getting lunch with a UGA alum who works for the UCSF Alumni department
Volunteering and back-up dancing for the UCSF Drag Show (I promise this book isn't mine, I was holding a prop for a friend who was performing)
Going to my first vogue class
Taking a day trip to Sausalito
My first Dolores Park afternoon picnic, hosted by the MS1 class
Experiencing extreme delays on Thanksgiving Sunday traveling back to SF
Cheering on our IM basketball team "The Stephoscopes"
Attending Santa Con (and ending up on the rooftop of an MLB player's place???)
Our MS1 onesie party
Having the best MS1 secret santa
Can't wait to see what's in store when we get back in January, but for now I continue to enjoy this lovely break.
xoxo,
Juhi
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