It is okay (a poem of validation for the year 2020)

An obligatory end of the year reflection post:

As much as I LOVE reflecting, I hesitated on a 2020 reflection. Wasn't it hard enough to live through this year? Why force myself to revisit the rough patches when peace feels tenuous, reopen wounds that are still building out granulation tissue?

I wrote out my feelings anyways. And the list of disappointments and challenges and fears was long.... but my list of lessons and joys was even bigger. A good reminder. I loved reading "It is okay (a poem of validation for the year 2020)" by Cleo Wade and I wanted to give it a try myself: 

It is okay if you put off that task for weeks and it only took eleven minutes to complete

It is okay if you never responded to my texts

It is okay if you spent hours doom scrolling Twitter or watching TikTok videos 

It is okay if you rewatch a constant loop of Avatar the Last Airbender

It is okay if your screen time report gets worse every week

It is okay if you’ve got twelve tabs with unread articles from October still on your browser

It is okay if you bought things online that you didn’t end up using 

It is okay if you’ve been wearing the same tattered sweatpants for the last three days

It is okay if you don’t remember the last time you had a reason to put on makeup

It is okay if you dress up for your weekly grocery run just to feel something 

It is okay if those books never got read or those ingredients expired before you could try that new recipe

It is okay if you gained weight or if your body fills out new spaces 

It is okay if you never finished that workout regimen you started

It is okay if those plants didn’t make it

It is okay if it feels like you’re just going through the motions these days

It is okay if you’re sad about dreams that didn’t happen this year

It is okay if you feel paralyzed by losses that feel tiny compared what others are mourning

It is okay if your goals have changed, if you no longer want to be that person you hoped you’d be by now

It is okay if you feel behind, if you’re using someone else’s timeline to benchmark your own progress

It is okay if you’re angry for wanting better from your government

It is okay if you’re hurting for your people and angry that others aren’t doing the same

It is okay if you’re too tired to feel anything right now

It is okay if your world feels a little smaller after this year

It is okay if you feel lonely or scared or guilty or restless 

It is okay if you’ve fallen apart and aren’t sure how to piece yourself back together

It is okay if knowing that you’re not the only one who feels this way doesn’t help 

It is okay if this year was full of hidden blessings you didn’t realize you needed

It is okay to feel joy and wonder when they seems so out of place

It is okay to slow down and notice where your attention goes

It is okay if you don’t even know what okay means anymore

Or maybe it’s not okay

Maybe it’s terribly not-okay, how-is-this-okay, should-never-be-okay

But one day, some day, you’ll look back and it’ll feel a-little-more-okay than it does right now

It is okay to just take it one day at a time until we get there

--

And finally, as I look ahead to the new year, some intentions for 2021:

I do enough, I have enough, I am enough

I don't have to convince anyone other than myself

I won't be discouraged when my progress isn't linear 

Practice balance between soft and tough, letting go and holding on

Rush less and force less and trust more that what's meant for me will find me

Notice what's driven by my ego and what's coming from my higher self

I don't need to explain or understand every moment

Everything is a gift or a lesson (or both)

Honor the gifts I've been given and find new ways to reciprocate

xoxo